“You’re showing that love to the people in your life and then sometimes they’re showing it to you“

Shauna Niequist, Celebrate Everyday

There was a time when I believed showing up meant being strong, steady, and sure. Fixing the problem. Being the strong one. And sometimes, yes, that is part of it. But more often, I am learning, showing up looks quieter. Smaller. Slower.

Brené Brown said, “Marriage is never 50/50. Some days it is 60/40. Some days it is 80/20.” Then there are days like I had this week, when I had like 0 and by the grace of God, Chad had 100. So he looked at me and simply said, “I got you.” Not because he had extra time or energy. Not because he is a saint. But because that is what love looks like in real life.

It is not a perfectly split equation, it is a rhythm of grace. Sometimes you carry. Sometimes you are carried. Love does not keep a tally. It just shows up.

I have learned this in my own marriage again and again. In the hospital room. In the grocery store. In the tension-filled silences and the ordinary Tuesdays. We carry each other through. Not with grand gestures, but with steady ones; making dinner, picking up socks, speaking gently when you want to snap, and staying close when it would be easier to walk away.

That is the kind of love I am learning to see more clearly now.
The kind that does not shout, but stays.
The kind that does not fix, but remains near.

Who has quietly shown up for you?
And who might need your steady presence right now?

We do not need to fix it.
We just need to be near.

There is grace here.
Enough for both of us.

Gracefully yours,

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Reference
Niequist, S. (2024). Celebrate Every Day. Zondervan.